Lucas' House
by savinglives44
Summary: Cuddy ends it with Lucas in the house they built together. No character-bashing. Cuddy/Lucas. Implied Cuddy/House.


**Lucas' House**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

Lisa Cuddy wrestled with the lock on the door of her brand new house.

The house she had built with her brand new fiancé.

Lucas, Lucas, _Lucas. _She loved him, but she couldn't marry him. It was too painful to fight her feelings for House any longer. Not after watching him open up to Hanna...and knowing that it was her stinging words that caused him to devalue himself. He saw himself as undesireable and all alone.

And all she wanted was to tell him the truth- that he was everything to her.

She had to break up with Lucas first, but she knew it would be awful and she didn't know what she was going to say and the damn door wasn't opening!

A surge of energy shot through her and she shoved the door open. She stumbled forward with her momentum, out of breath. She shut the door and everything was eerily at peace in the house. It was dark with lots of open space, as she and Lucas hadn't been able to completely move in yet. She felt disgusting in such a pristine environment and thought about the comfort of a warm shower. Lucas would be home soon, though, and she wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

Fatigue washed over her and she felt an urge to lean against something, but she didn't want to dirty the white walls.

Her perfect white walls.

Her perfect fiancé.

And imperfect House, whom she loved. She loved him even before he had "changed". She loved him even when he was an asshole (and sometimes, because of it.) It's not that she hadn't realized it before. But after everything they'd been through, she'd given up on discounting her feelings because they weren't rational or safe.

Still, Lucas didn't deserve to be hurt. She stood for a few minutes with the guilt weighing down on her shoulders, and then collapsed onto the floor. She tensed up into a ball until the door opened behind her.

"Hey." She felt Lucas beside her immediately, his hand splaying on her back. "Hard day? I heard about the crane accident." His hand dropped to her lower back and she shifted away.

"Lucas…" she sighed, hanging her head.

Lucas froze. "What's wrong?" He crawled in front of her and drew her into his arms.

She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment and then knew she shouldn't stall any longer. She pulled away from him, standing up. He followed her suit with his forehead wrinkled in concern.

Cuddy pulled out his engagement ring that he'd given to her and placed it in his hand. "I have to give this back to you," she said seriously.

Lucas closed his fingers over the ring with a sad frown. He paused, "You aren't ready." He cracked a half-smile, "Don't worry about it. I'll save it for later…for an even better proposal."

"Your proposal was wonderful," Cuddy said earnestly. She tried to smile at him, but tears welled up in her eyes and she bit her lip to keep from sobbing out loud, "but I can't marry you."

"Ever?" He raised his eyebrows.

She shook her head.

"Never ever?" He asked, looking for a bit of hope.

She laughed, mostly out of pity because he was trying so hard to make light of the painful situation.

"So you…" He looked down momentarily, putting his hands on his hips. "…you don't want to be with me anymore?"

She didn't want him to feel rejected, but she knew if she wasn't firm and clear in her decision, it would just be stringing him along. "I don't want to be in a relationship with you if I have strong feelings for someone else. That's not fair to you."

"This isn't fair to me." Lucas whined, shaking his head. "House?"

She nodded. "I can't explain it, and I'm done trying."

"Explain what?" He withdrew from her physically by pacing the room. "Your feelings for him?"

"Yes," she said, admittedly. She could tell he was growing more angry and upset.

Lucas stopped pacing. "Do you think you could be stressed and tired from all the work today? Because I'm sure there's a ton of adrenaline and hormonal stuff in your brain right now…which means your feelings are heightened and you could just sleep it off and wait for tomorrow."

Cuddy resisted the urge to ask about where exactly he was getting his medical knowledge. "I considered that. But regardless of what happened today, my feelings for House are tied to our long, complicated history together, and there's nothing that you could have done to change that. You are an amazing boyfriend, and I love you, but this is just something I have to do."

"I know you guys have a history. I'm not an idiot."

"I didn't say-"

Lucas grabbed both of her hands in his. "I wasn't concerned about him or what he meant to you. Because you committed to me. Think about it."

Cuddy found it harder to stay strong in her decision. She stared into Lucas's eyes, not afraid to face guilt and remorse because she knew she was doing the right thing. She had committed to Lucas, but they weren't married. "I'm sorry...I don't know what else to tell you."

"I love you." He pulled her closer, ran his hands through her hair and over her shoulders. "I'd do anything for you."

"I know." Tears welled up in her eyes.

His face softened as he pleaded with her. "And I know that House isn't as much of a hard-ass as he seems. But I will always be here for you...and Rachel." He held her so close that they couldn't see anything but each other. "I'm a sure thing. Can you say that about him?"

"No." He wasn't saying anything that she didn't already know. Lucas was a nice safety net; he would have made a suitable husband and she was very happy with him. But she didn't need him in the way she needed House. It scared her that she needed him, yet ignoring her feelings never made them go away. "It doesn't matter."

His fingertips clung to the back of her neck and he kissed her, like he knew it would be their last kiss. She didn't respond, and let him kiss her fully and desperately.

He dropped his head in defeat and shrugged away from her. He took a moment to catch his breath, and said, "You realize how this makes me look, right?"

Still a little stunned from the kiss, she said nothing.

He continued, "You know I'm a confident guy. Maybe arrogant," he smirked, " and when I'm in a relationship with a beautiful, smart, wonderful woman, I naturally assume that there's something that I do for her. Or else you never would have even bothered dating me." He shook his head in humilitation. "And I acted like I was important to you. I mean, House is cocky and arrogant, but at least I had a reason to be. I had THE girl."

She laughed. "I'm not that special."

"You are," he said immediately. "Don't let H-" He stopped himself. "Don't let anyone else convince you otherwise."

She looked down to the floor, thinking, and then back at him. "I'm not special. I'm just an average woman, making a probably stupid decision based on love."

"Love?" He grimaced in hurt. "Ouch. I think that was my heart breaking."

"I'm sorry," she repeated. She didn't intend to reveal all her feelings for House and hurt him.

"So House gets the girl? My girl?" Lucas ran a hand through his hair, groaning at the thought. "And I look like an ass because I thought I was enough for you."

"You were more than enough. And I promise that I will give you the best recommendation to any girl you are try to impress." She smiled.

"I think I'm going to need more than a day or two to move on." He sighed. "Just a few minutes ago I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. I was much happier then."

"I love you." She shrugged. "I'm sorry that you have to be hurt." She reached out and touched his shoulder comfortingly. "I hope you don't disappear from my life, but I can understand if you don't want to see me."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound possible right now. I don't think that this has quite hit me yet." Lucas backed away. "Maybe someday..." He looked around. "I guess I don't live here anymore."

"You can stay if you want..." she offered, mostly out of courtesy, hoping he'd decline.

He picked up on her cue. "Nahh. I got my apartment. I am going to miss the kid, though."

Cuddy hadn't really considered how this would affect Rachel yet. She knew Rachel had developed an attachment to Lucas, and she was worried that it might come back to haunt her- being "abandoned" by her first daddy, just because Cuddy decided to be selfish for once in her life and take a chance on what she really wanted. She prayed that House could be there for Rachel in his own way.

Lucas stepped toward her. "I'll see you...umm. Bye." He acted like he was going to hug her or kiss her, and she held out her arms, but he just moved past her.

When he was gone, she collapsed against the white wall, not caring if she dirtied it anymore. She took a few minutes to cry and reflect on her relationship with Lucas and what a good man he was. She choked on her own breath, gasping until she could get a hold of herself. Then she stood, wiped the tears from her face, straightened her pink scrubs, and headed out the door.

To House.

* * *

A/N: To say that it's been a while since I've written fic is an understatement, so I hope this isn't too awful.

I started out with a Huddy fic taking place at the end of season 6, but then I realized there are about a million fics like that already. I'm a die-hard Huddy but I have a soft spot in my heart for Lucas. :)

I am going to try to finish some of my other fics, but once season 7 starts up...I will probably get inspired to do something else.

Thanks to all who read!


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